Complete or Incomplete, Where Are You and Where Do You Want to Be?

Recently I met with a couple a man and a woman who co-habitat.  We got into a conversation around feeling complete.  My answer to complete is that it is our first day taking our “dirt” nap.  When we reach “complete,” I believe we are dead.  As we continue to learn and grow, we are “incomplete”.  Let’s explore this.

We go through life having goals set for us to “complete”.  Confirmation, kindergarten graduation, sixth grade promotion, middle school, high school, college and university all are “complete” goals.  We graduate to adulthood assuming adult roles.  As a mother, father, or breadwinner we take the roles given to us for our lifetime.  As we move from adulthood to our senior years, we maintain the consciousness of those roles, even if we mature beyond them.  As the breadwinner, I provide for my family.  Now as a senior, do I plan on reaching “complete” by becoming sedate in my life?  In my goals, do I now choose to be sedentary?  To stop living and growing is not my choice.  Is it yours?

The significance of “complete” or “incomplete” is as easy to understand as understanding the consistency of life as it relates to change.  As I go through life change is the only constant, as it should be.  Without change growth and development stops.  However, frequently when we have a life changing event (loss of job, major health set back) we look back on previous life experience longing for the time when we were in “control”.  Control is merely the repeating of previous life experience.  Beyond middle age it should be our previous life experience that now allow us to explore “new” challenges.  New challenges allow us to grow towards being “complete”.

I learned to roller blade in 1994 at age 44.  At 55 I finished my first Ironman 70.3 (1.2-mile ocean swim, 56-mile bike ride, 13.2 mile run).  Each challenge gave me the opportunity to be “incomplete” as I approach “complete”.  They allow me to grow.  I continue to look for ways of being “incomplete”.  I want my business to be “incomplete”, allowing it to continue to grow.  I want to run more marathons, each faster than the last. 

I never have to run another marathon.  I may never ride my roller blades again; however, I have the option to do so.  I can choose to avoid reading books with new information.  I can accept my financial place as comfortable or choose to consider better options.  You see it is a choice to be “complete” in our lives.  It is our choice.  Setting small but varied goals to develop change once a year, once a month, or once each week is required to stay vital.  All the people who read this article are people who want to stay vital or you would not be reading it!  In this case, taking any action which will create change in your life, is essential!

The best story I ever heard to make the point of “complete” or “incomplete” was during a college graduation ceremony.  The commencement speaker spoke of commencement as a “BEGINNING” not “The End”.  The commencement ceremony at “The End of College” indicates the completion of 16 years of school, life training, and study.  For those who go on (we all go on,) we have additional school, life and/or both.  Commencing allows us to be incomplete.  Choose to be “incomplete” to allow your life to continue to grow to avoid the 1^st day of your “dirt nap!”

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